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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28281273">Christmas in Heaven</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/icequeen57/pseuds/icequeen57'>icequeen57</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Julie and The Phantoms (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst and Feels, Christmas, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Found Family, Grief/Mourning, Post-Canon, Team as Family</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 22:48:51</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,147</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28281273</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/icequeen57/pseuds/icequeen57</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>You don't think that when you die, you’ll miss all the people you left behind.</p>
<p>A christmas fic about Reggie grieving all the life he missed out on, and the people he lost between dying and waking up in 2020.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Alex Mercer &amp; Julie Molina &amp; Luke Patterson &amp; Reggie Peters, Alex Mercer &amp; Luke Patterson &amp; Reggie Peters (Julie and The Phantoms), Alex Mercer &amp; Reggie Peters (Julie and The Phantoms), Julie Molina &amp; Reggie Peters, Luke Patterson &amp; Reggie Peters (Julie and The Phantoms)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>52</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Christmas in Heaven</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Reggie knew he was strange. He liked country music too much, he didn't understand a lot of things, and he was easily distracted. He also knew he had a lot of problems. He didn't do well with fighting, he was borderline stupid, and he took things too personally. </p>
<p>The guys though, they didn't treat him like he was a problem that needed to be solved. They just loved him for him. Julie too. She was the best. The guys understood him and that was why they put up with him, but Julie, she didn't know about his parents. She didn't pity him for his home life, she just rolled her eyes and smiled at him. She listened when he played one of the country songs he wrote, and she humored his stupid ideas. He really loved her. She was like the sister he never had. </p>
<p>Reggie genuinely liked spending time with her, and she seemed to like spending time with him. Things were getting a little crazier the closer it got to Christmas, but it was okay. Reggie understood he wasn't her number one priority, and that was fine. Julie was alive, and she had a family to think about. Reggie would do whatever he needed to make her happy. So, when she asked him to help her decorate, he immediately agreed. They got the decorations down from the attic and got to work. </p>
<p>Reggie was excited to help. They, along with Carlos, put up the tree, and put lights all around the living room. Reggie wanted to help them put up the outside lights, but Julie said that they didn't do that, they had a projector thing that did that. 2020 was weird. </p>
<p>They finished about the time Ray walked in. Last Christmas was a bad time for the Molina’s, being the first Christmas without Rose. Ray tried to get them in the Christmas spirit, but it was hard. To walk in and see everything decked out this year made him tear up. He hugged Julie and Carlos, then asked if they wanted Hot Chocolate. </p>
<p>Ray went into the kitchen and Julie looked at Reggie. “Thank you for this. It means a lot to me.” She looked like she was gonna say something else, but Luke and Alex popped into the room.  Luke immediately pouted about not being invited to help, and Alex rolled his eyes at him. Reggie smiled. </p>
<p>It wasn't until later, in the dead of the night, that he thought about his family. This would be the first year where he wasn't celebrating Christmas with them. </p>
<p>He loved Christmas when he was alive. It seemed like the only time of year when his parents weren't fighting. He remembered when he would go to his Nana’s and his Pap’s house for the week after Christmas. He didn't get to see them often, something about them not approving of his parents’ marriage, and he couldn't blame them. He remembered the cookies he would “help” his Nana bake. He would always eat more of the dough than the actual cookies. His Nana would smile at him and tell him he was gonna make himself sick. His Pap would be sitting at the table trying to string popcorn for the tree. He would always say that he didn't need any help, but Reggie would try anyway. After a while, Pap would smile at Reggie and let him finish it. They never finished the tree until he got there. </p>
<p>He remembered just talking to them for hours and they wouldn't get tired of him. They just let him talk. It was like they knew his parents didn't listen to him. Christmas with his Nana and Pap were some of his happiest memories growing up. </p>
<p>To think that he wouldn't be doing that this year, or ever again, made him want to cry. You don't think that when you die, you’ll miss all the people you left behind. It killed him to think that, more likely than not, Nana and Pap were already gone. Reggie remembered visiting Nana in the hospital a few days before they were supposed to play the Orpheum. She and Pap were so proud of him. Reggie could feel the tears welling up in his eyes. He didn't want to think about Christmas anymore. </p>
<p>Unfortunately, he didn't get that privilege. Everything was Christmas now. Every gig they went to expected them to play at least one Christmas cover. He was trying to not let it show, he didn't want to ruin the Christmas spirit for everyone else. He just wanted everything to be over. </p>
<p>It was a few days before Christmas when Julie and the guys had had enough. Reggie was getting worse by the day, and they weren’t getting anywhere. </p>
<p>They were practicing one of the new Christmas songs Julie and Luke wrote, and Luke abruptly stopped playing. “Okay, that’s it!” Luke put his guitar down. “Reggie, you’ve been off for days, will you just tell us what's wrong.” </p>
<p>Reggie froze like a deer in the headlights. He thought he was doing a good job of hiding it, but apparently not. “I don't know what you're talking about,” he tried. </p>
<p>“Reggie, he’s got a point.” Julie tried to be the voice of reason. She knew something was wrong, but she couldn’t understand why he’d gone from so excited for Christmas to a real scrooge. </p>
<p>“Guys I’m fine. I’ll get over it.” Reggie knew that was the wrong thing to say the moment he said it. </p>
<p>“So there is something wrong.” Luke cried. </p>
<p>“Listen, it’s nothing. Can we go back to practicing now?” Reggie could feel the heat in his veins. </p>
<p>“Not until we talk about this.” Luke argued. </p>
<p>“There is nothing to talk about.” Reggie could feel himself breathing faster. </p>
<p>“Yes there is!” Luke didn't mean to raise his voice. Reggie went deathly still. Alex stood up from his drums, and Julie took a step closer to Reggie. “Reggie, I'm s-,” Luke tried, but Reggie was already taking his bass off and setting it against the wall. He popped out of the studio a second later. </p><hr/>
<p>Julie found Reggie in her room. </p>
<p>He was sitting against the wall, his knees pulled up to his chest. She could tell he’d been crying. </p>
<p>As soon as he saw her, he said, “Sorry, I know boundaries, I just,” Julie cut him off.</p>
<p>“It’s okay, that was a lot down there. Why’d you come here?” </p>
<p>He smiled, but it didn't reach his eyes, “This was the last place I could think of that they would look.” He tried to blink away his tears and wiped his sleeve against his face roughly when he couldn't. </p>
<p>Julie sat in front of Reggie, resting a hand on his arm, “Hey careful. Don't want to hurt that pretty face now do we?” She smiled at him. He smiled back, more like himself this time. She moved to sit beside him and leaned into him just a little. They sat there for a while, not saying, or doing anything, just sitting. </p>
<p>Julie broke the silence. “Luke feels really shitty about being a dick.” </p>
<p>Reggie raised an eyebrow at her, “Wow Julie, two swears in one sentence, what are we gonna do with you?” </p>
<p>She rolled her eyes, “Oh shush. I’m not saying you have to forgive him, but he does feel bad about it.” She nudged his shoulder. </p>
<p>Reggie didn’t say anything for a minute. “I know he wasn’t trying to be mean. He just doesn’t know when to let things go.” He wiped a hand down his face. </p>
<p>They were still on the floor when there was a knock on the door. Julie looked at Reggie, who nodded, and called softly, “Come in.” </p>
<p>Luke walked through the door, opened his mouth then closed it. He looked like you’d just told him Christmas was canceled. “Hey Reg,” Luke hesitated, “I am so sorry. I shouldn't have snapped at you.” </p>
<p>“It’s okay Luke.” Reggie stood up, smiling brightly at Luke. Luke knew Reggie was lying to make <em>him </em>feel better.</p>
<p>“No, it’s not. I know I went too far, but I'm worried about you. You used to love Christmas.” Luke tried to take a step towards Reggie.  </p>
<p>Reggie shook his head, “It’s not that bad. I just need to get over it.” He couldn't look at him right now. </p>
<p>Luke and Julie looked at each other. Julie had an idea. She placed a hand on Reggie’s shoulder, “Hey, why don't we have a movie night? I’ve been meaning to show you this Star Wars show called the Mandalorian. I think you’ll like it.” Reggie looked hesitant, finding out there were six other movies and a bunch of spin off shows was another shock of 2020. But if Julie said it was good… </p>
<p>Reggie nodded. He still wasn't fully himself again, but he was getting better. Luke and Reggie went back to the studio while Julie gathered her laptop and a couple more blankets. If they were doing movie night, they were doing it right. </p>
<p>By the time she actually got back to the studio, Luke was bouncing around the room while Alex was sitting on the couch and Reggie was haphazardly leaning against him. She rolled her eyes thinking about Alex had probably just grabbed him and refused to let him go. She wouldn't have thought he was a hugger, but these boys continued to surprise her. </p>
<p>They settled, Reggie using the brief moment of Alex’s distraction by Julie walking in to situate himself more comfortably but still leaning against Alex, and Julie on his other side. Luke chose to sit on the floor between her and Reggie. As she started the show, she began to run her hands through his hair. She was so grateful to have her boys around right now. </p>
<p>They fell asleep like that. Well, whatever asleep ghosts could get. They all stayed still as possible to let their lifer sleep. She deserved it. </p><hr/>
<p>Julie woke up the next morning with her head in Alex’s lap. She blinked a couple times, trying to remember how she got there. </p>
<p>“Hey sleepy head. We were wondering when you were gonna get up.” Alex smiled as she got up and yawned. She looked around the studio, noticing Reggie and Luke were nowhere to be found. “Luke was having a hard time trying to be quiet, so he and Reggie went to let out a little steam.” Julie furrowed her brow. “It’s probably for the best, Luke still feels bad for setting Reg off.”</p>
<p>Julie bit her lip, like she wanted to say something but didn't know how. “Did, well. You don't have to answer, but um, did that happen a lot? I mean before you died.” She winced as she said it. </p>
<p>Alex took a deep breath, weird as she thought ghosts didn't need to breathe, and closed his eyes. He opened them a second later and looked at her. “It’s not my story to tell, but I can tell you that Reggie, he, well, he’s Reggie.”</p>
<p>“I’m sure you’ve noticed that, well, when he’s upset, he doesn't like to fight. He would rather just leave or let someone else handle it. Especially if someone is yelling at <em>him</em>. Don't get me wrong, if someone was hurting Me, or Luke, or even Bobby, he would, and has, stepped in. He would do the same for you. But it’s different when it’s one of us, he loves us. If someone is mad at <em>him</em>, or yelling at <em>him</em>, or, fuck, hurting <em>him</em>, he would rather just run. I can’t tell you how many times we found him hiding up in the loft, or on the beach, or in the old music closet at school. It’s infuriating sometimes, and terrifying at other times. It's worse when it’s one of us.” Alex started blinking rapidly. God how he wished that Reggie would just rely on them instead of thinking he had to do everything on his own. He thought about going and haunting Reggie’s parents, but he shoved it to the back of his mind, he would ask Luke about it later. </p>
<p>Julie didn't say anything for a while, just letting the information sink in. She could make her own conclusions about why Reggie was the way he was, and none of them were good. It broke her heart to think about. She asked, “Was he always this way about Christmas? I mean he seemed so excited about it before when we were decorating.” </p>
<p>Alex tensed, “No, he loved Christmas. He would always make sure this place was decorated. God,” Alex mused, “I remember spending hours trying to untangle lights with him. We even had these stockings we hung on the wall. His Grandma even embroidered our initials on them…” He trailed off. He looked a lot like Flynn when she and Julie were doing their Calc homework together. </p>
<p>Julie was about to ask Alex what was wrong when Reggie and Luke stumbled in.  </p>
<p>“Julie,” Reggie cheered, not reading the room at all. “Will you please tell him Die Hard is not a Christmas movie?” </p>
<p>“Dude, it so is. Just admit it already.” Luke was just glad Reggie was smiling. He glanced at Julie with a smirk. “Tell him Julie.” </p>
<p>She didn't know what to say, or even if she should say something. She glanced at Ales, but he was still lost in thought. “Well, I mean, I’m pretty sure the director said it was so...” She trailed off. </p>
<p>Luke pumped his fist in the air, “I told you.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, yeah,” Reggie grumbled, still smiling. Well, he was until he looked over at Alex. “Hey man, what’s wrong?” </p>
<p>Alex seemed to shake himself out of his stupor. He smiled at Reggie, trying to play it off, but Alex was even worse than Reggie when trying to hide his emotions. Luke could always tell when Alex was upset. When his smile wasn't right or when he squeezed his fists so tightly that his nails bit into his palms, nearly causing them to bleed. Which was something he was going now. </p>
<p>Luke and Reggie walked over. Luke sat directly next to Alex, nudging him with his elbow. “Come on man.” </p>
<p>Alex didn't know what to do with his realization. So, without another option, he decided to take a page out of Luke’s book, and just fucking went for it. Alex squeezed Luke’s knew before standing. Luke was about to follow when Julie touched his hand. They both stayed put and looked at Alex who was walking up to Reggie. </p>
<p>Reggie didn't know what was going on. Alex seemed really upset, but Reggie had no idea why. Then Alex said, “Christmas was your Nana’s favorite time of year, wasn't it?” You could hear a pin drop. Of course Alex would remember that. “I’m sorry I didn't realize before. I should have remembered.” </p>
<p>Reggie froze and was about to take a step back, but Alex stopped him. Alex was only a few inches in front of him. “Lex,” he breathed. Alex grabbed Reggie’s shoulders and pulled him in. Alex bear hugged Reggie, just like he used to when Reggie got overwhelmed. Reggie felt everything he’d been trying to bury down for weeks, rise to the surface. Reggie started sobbing into Alex’s shoulder and he felt his knees give out. Alex held him, and gently lowered them to the floor. Reggie didn't want to do this, he didn't want to be crying about this, he didn't want to think about it, he just wanted all of this to go away. </p>
<p>Reggie didn't know how long they were like that, how long he was sobbing. He didn't know when Luke and Julie joined the hug, but he was glad they were there. Reggie was practically in Alex’s lap, Luke was beside them and Julie was behind them, she was running a hand through Reggie’s hair. He liked it when people played with his hair. </p>
<p>Reggie pulled back from Alex’s shoulder and wiped his face with the sleeve of his flannel. There was a hand on his back, going up and down slowly. “Do you feel better?” Alex said. He said it gently and kindly. It wasn't a tone Alex used often, much less with Reggie. </p>
<p>Reggie nodded, staring at his hands. He couldn't look at Alex right now. If he did, and Alex was looking at him like <em>that</em>, Reggie didn't know what he’d do. He didn't want to deal with the pity he knew would be there. </p>
<p>“Do you want to talk about her?” Julie asked. She knew how hard it was to love someone who couldn't be there, especially at Christmas. </p>
<p>Reggie let out a wet laugh. He didn't say anything for a minute. They figured that meant no, but they heard him say softly, “Nana loved Christmas. She always said she could smell the holiday spirit in the air. Pap loved it too, mostly because he loved Nana.” Once he started, it was like he couldn't stop. He told them about the cookies and the Christmas village that would take over the entire living room, and then the rest of the house. He told them about how they would go caroling. That was how he got into singing, and then bass. His Pap bought it for him when he was 10. Pap always said Reggie was gonna be a star. Too bad Reggie was dead before he got that far. </p>
<p>He told them everything he had never told them before and by the end of it he was crying again. This was a different kind of crying though, less heart wrenching sobs and more silent tears. </p>
<p>Luke, bless his heart, didn't know how to handle it when people started crying. He would normally defer to Alex and hope for the best. However, at that moment he decided to say something. “They would be so proud of you.” </p>
<p>Reggie blinked at Luke and tilted his head, “What, um. What do you mean?”</p>
<p>Luke plowed on, “I remember them, well what you told me. They would be so fucking proud of the person you turned out to be.” </p>
<p>Reggie’s voice was tight, “You mean that?” </p>
<p>Luke smiled, “Yeah, Reg, I do.” </p>
<p>Luke was not prepared for Reggie to throw himself in Luke’s arms. Albeit unexpected, Luke still hugged his best friend. Luke wasn't the best at emotion, but he was good at hugs. </p>
<p>Alex and Julie rolled their eyes at them and smiled. Reggie really did act like a Labrador retriever sometimes. Far be it for them to tell him to stop though. They could all agree that having Reggie back to normal, over the Reggie they’ve had for the past month. </p>
<p>They all knew this wasn't over, and that Reggie’s grief wasn't just gonna go away after one conversation, but it was a start. They could get through this together. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Christmas In Heaven-Scotty McCreery</p></blockquote></div></div>
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